You Can’t Think About Changing Yourself, Until You Know Yourself!



You may have noticed the abundance of self-help books, courses, and shows flooding the TV schedule. Whole networks are devoted to the subject—redesigning your life for more joy and peace of mind.


In recent years, many of us have taken the giant leap of faith into self-improvement, professional development or living a healthier lifestyle – not only for ourselves, but also for our loved ones and friends.

We invest fortunes pursuing this interest, studying the techniques of leadership gurus, attending conferences, workshops or retreats. We pray that this time the awareness gained will stick for a permanent change towards becoming the person you want to be. But it doesn’t. Too often after all that time and effort you still don’t feel happy or fulfilled because of unresolved pain and emotional debt of the past. We realize that we have not recognized the burden of pain held inside for years, or dug deep to raise the sources of our problems from our hearts. We recognize that we don’t really know ourselves as well as we thought. We don’t know our “Self” as the lighthouse beaming signal lights to guide us safely through the ebbs and tides of life.


So, who are you?

This is a question is difficult for many people to answer. Knowing who you are requires releasing emotional debts from the past. You know, all the things that you denied or ignored hoping the ugliness will disappear from reality. It requires you making the decision and willingness to reflect, acknowledge, and face your truth including all the dirty-pretty things in your life.

The term, "debt" is an inequality that is usually tied to the economics or money that is owed or due. But in this case emotional debt it is tied to negative or traumatic emotions held inside or buried causing an imbalance in your life and your relationships. Most of us harbor knowledge of family secrets that were, for whatever reasons, never to be discussed or repeated fearing tarnishing reputations. But having an awareness of your emotional debts and healing past hurts commands that you face your past to sort out your feelings, while knowing that you will be okay, that you can handle and resolve issues from your past will hopefully enable you to fill in some of the gaps in your life over the years.


As you learn to understand your feelings and stand in your truth, your level of emotional debt reduces distorted thoughts.


Your self-esteem increases strengthening your ability to heal old emotional wounds and helps to free you from the expectations of living an inauthentic reality.


Studies show that your emotional brain controls human behaviors that are reflected in your life, how you live, and the choices you make attempting to keep on track to living the life you want to have. At the same time, every decision, every thought leads to actions and behaviors that serve a purpose and tells part of your personal story.


The challenge of making any life change, both physical and emotional can seem daunting, especially when you don’t have the tools or the know-how to do it. The majority of us never received professional training in the vagaries of life decision-making or planning a path to chart our life course. We’ve all made decisions that worked for us and decisions that did not work. And just as we are all more than what we do for a living; the role we play in our families or relationship, our individual “Self” is more than a body going through the motions of daily existence. In fact, fixing your “Self” one step at a time is like meeting your needs one step at a time, until your very being moves your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behavior into the life you dream of it. This new commitment makes the “Self” you design a new frontier – and that’s a good thing because everything from personal growth to wholesale change starts right with the same “YOU” wherever you exist.


As a Certified Professional Life Coach, my role is to assist you in finding the clarity and purpose you seek for your life.


We all have a personal truth, filled with the mysteries of your life to be lived, not problems to be solved. However, you can’t think about making lasting changes to your life without knowing yourself first, knowing who you are. In the process of working with clients over the years, I’ve discovered that these life stories, combined with a desire to take control of life, can empower you to transform yourself into a mature being with clarity and purpose. This article is the first in a series of blogs to help you recover your Sweet Spot of Personal Truth so that you can exhale into living your life on your terms.


So, are you ready to regain a stance within your personal truth?


#lifecoachtraining #findyourtruth

 Debra Ann Cruz, CEAP, CEC, LPC, 

Certified Employee Assistance Professional

 Certified Executive Coach

Licensed Professional Counselor 

  • Debra Ann Cruz, CEAP, LPC, CPLC
  • Debra Ann Cruz, CEAP, LPC, CPLC

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